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a_circuskid
18 December 2007 @ 10:32 pm
MY JOURNAL IS (now) "FRIENDS" ONLY

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just post a comment, and i'll add you.
 
 
a_circuskid
17 December 2007 @ 04:01 pm
i'm doing crunches/sit ups ect because i feel/see all the muscle in my body turning into fat, and I'm done being a house rat that goes on daily walks and cooks/eats/cooks/eats, ect. I'll give it till next wednesday before I do any pushups (and i'll be in Mexico for that). I still have a bunch of swelling, which I think could last months (is that right?)...
Brit leaves tomrrow night, Meg and Mags early that next morning, and Ash on Thursday. That means I have the whole house to myself until Monday morning (when I leave). Glad I'll be doing the gym thing by then =) Then Grass Valley, *cross fingers and hope* for 3 weeks, then Maui till the end of june? yeah?
Brit says she probably won't be there very long (we've had a bit of a blowout w/ her dating megan), which means I'll be my myself, travelling, living, all new people/community ect... whoa. I'm meeting with Annabelle in a couple days to get all the 411 on Maui folks (she lived there for 2+ years just recently). I'm jumping in, I sure am.
 
 
 
a_circuskid
17 December 2007 @ 02:05 pm
i miss heartwood for reals. i bet is smells let wet trees there right now....
 
 
a_circuskid
11 December 2007 @ 10:57 pm
I realize I'm not going to post when I'm angy at 3am. And, it is also a stupid idea to have put myself in the living situation I did. D_R_A_M_A!!! at least for me, i'm the angry one. The other ones get to be in love, and my girlfriend gets to "process" with me.

Christmas in Baja with the faggots is happening. Maui for winter and spring is happening. Work for January is happening. Life is happening.

I want to be working out... doc says 4-6 weeks post op, and i'm only 2. yoga maybe? I wonder when I can run... I'm craving pushups like a crackwhore wants crack.

I need to get "the terrible girls" by Rebbecca Wood, and the Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein.

Made Kabocha squash soup and oatmeal raisin cookies tonight. Ash and I are going to attempt making a acorn squash hummus that we're inventing...
 
 
 
a_circuskid
10 December 2007 @ 02:06 am
so much intense emotion
contained in such a small body.
my liver cannot process it quickly enough,
and it comes shooting out my eyeballs, an evil glare.
growling out from my 3rd chakra, a lion attacking its prey.

this poison in my body...
i take full responsibility
for creating this energy into my life.
the universe put this energy into a human life form,
i asked for, and attracted it.

I have so much anger in my body right now
being projected at one human.
I am so sorry.

my body feels sick with posion.
 
 
 
a_circuskid
07 December 2007 @ 10:35 pm
but i don't really think so... my roomates do, and they took a picture while i was drinking the "chocolate pudding" drink I made (vegan)... it's really really good, thick, chocolate milk- like in europe....

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a_circuskid
07 December 2007 @ 07:52 pm
today I tried on ALL my clothes (and everything else I have). I'm downsizing for the next phase of my nomadic journey. Ashely didi too. I could almost cry at the joy I feel that my shirts fit the way they do. I LOVE my body. I had some fun and did a photoshoot w/ some of the outfits =)

fun with vanityCollapse )

I'm healing pretty great. I'm feeling a range of emotions. the dynamic in the house has my belly in knots sometimes. I've got a lot to do before Maui...
 
 
a_circuskid
03 December 2007 @ 03:10 pm
my man chest!!!.Collapse )
 
 
 
a_circuskid
02 December 2007 @ 05:48 pm
i can't cook, but i can direct pretty good:

roasted winter squash
roasted garlic
potatoes
carrots
caramelized onions
chopped apple
cinnamon
cayenne
salt
pepper
clove
nutmeg
bit of water....

then, toast the seeds from the squash till they pop, then add tamari, salt, and cayenne... and sprinkle into soup with a fresh parsley garnish....

no recipe. no measurememts. just vallium and farmer's market veggies...

soup fucking rocks. i <3 soup.

now we're making cookies ;)
 
 
a_circuskid
29 November 2007 @ 07:42 am
the beautiful thing about being in intense pain at 6am (10 of 10 on the scale), is that the sky was bright orange outide the window. I feel like my ribs are being crushed, and my back wants to crack, but I can't move too much or the surface pain on my chest gets too intense. the medication wares off every 2 hours, after taking an hour to kick in =/ I emailed my doc about chaning the RX.
there's not much fluid coming out of the drain tubes at all (very minimal, like a tablespoon). I guess that's a good thing? Dr. B said the surgery went really well. And i'm much more cohearent this time around (compared to my reduction 2 years ago). The benefit from that was that I was too zonked out to get bored, so time passed by quickly. Right now I have the energy and would love to run around if moving didn't hurt so freaking much.

Sage heads back up north today, too bad she can't take me back up w/ her =) Humboldt (in the middle of the woods) would be a great place for me to heal up right now. I'm glad to have Brittany, Ashley, and Megan all living here too. I've got some amazing people in my life.

oh yeah, and Britany and I bought our plane tix to Maui yesterday- we leave sometime in a 4-day window starting Jan 29!!!